-Mediation is significantly cheaper than litigation. Average cost for a mediation including the agreement to be filed with the court and court papers is usually under $1,500.00.

-You stay in control.  You control how slow or fast you want the process to go. You control the cost. You control the outcome.

-Mediation is private. Unlike litigation which will take place in a public courtroom, mediation happens in the privacy of the mediator's office.

-Mediation encourages and helps communication between the parties.

-Mediated agreements last longer.

-Mediation is faster than litigation.

Mediation can be successful for parties who are close to agreement and for those who still disagree about almost everything. The key to successful mediation is the willingness of all parties to mediate and to honestly disclose all necessary information.

No. Mediation is appropriate for unmarried, married, divorced couples.  Mediation is also appropriate for gay and lesbian couples, married or unmarried as well as for other family related issues. It is also appropriate for resolving workplace conflict and other non-family issues.

Mediators receive special training to enable them to identify and address power imbalances. Through methods such as equal exchange of information, education, equal time, and directly addressing issues of power, both parties are assured that they will be heard and will be able to participate in the mediation process as equals

You will receive a free one half hour initial consultation. After that, if you decide to engage in mediation, you will be charged a fee per hour of time spent on the case, including the mediation, telephone conferences, drafting, research, or other time. The average cost of mediation will usually be between $600.00 to $1,500.00; this is substantially less than hiring separate lawyers for litigation.

It is a wise idea to have an independent attorney review the agreement you reached in mediation. An independent attorney will look over the agreement and be able to ask you questions to insure that your agreement is fair and adequately protects your individual interest as well as the interest you have in resolving the dispute through a mediated agreement.

This is a complicated issue and much debated in the mediation community. If there is ongoing physical abuse  I believe mediation is not appropriate.  It is essential that both parties feel comfortable and safe in during the mediation.  If there is coercion on the part of one of the parties or acting out of fear on the part of another, then mediation is not likely to  be successful. If there has been physical abuse in the past but  is not happening in the present, mediation could be successful. Through confidential questionnaires and possible an individual meeting (called a "caucus") the mediator can and should explore issues of present safety and voluntariness. If it appears that it is truly in the past and both parties can discuss challenging issues with one another, freely and without fear of retribution, then mediation can be successful. Issues of  emotional abuse are more complicated as the definition of what is emotional abuse can be more subjective and can vary from party to party. One thing to remember is that the alternative, going to trial, can in some ways be even more difficult and lead to more stress and confrontations.

Since you will likely be dealing with deeply personal, emotional and financial issues with your mediator, it is important that you feel comfortable with your mediator. It is therefore helpful to take advantage of a free initial consultation if your mediator offers that so that you feel comfortable  with your mediator.

Secondly, how much experience does your mediator have? How many divorces or family cases has your mediator mediated? Like anything else, you might be able to find a mediator that charges less and has less experience. In the end you might end spending as much money and/or end up with an agreement that is not comprehensive and has problems due to inexperience. Like in any other area, experience counts.

How well does your mediator know the various courts and the intricacies and local custom of the court you need to file the divorce in?  Your mediator should know the courts and their practices. This will assure that your agreement and court papers will be accepted by the court.

What kind of certifications does your mediator have?  Although there is no statewide certification for mediators in Massachusetts, there are certifications through statewide and national organizations that attest to the mediator's skill, experience and knowledge. The Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation has a certification system as does the Academy of Professional Family Mediators and the Association of Conflict Resolution. Check to see if your mediator is certified by any of these organizations.

Does your mediator have any reviews or client testimonials?  This is no different from researching restaurants, hotels or mechanics. You will learn a lot from client testimonials.

Finally, how committed is your mediator to mediation as a profession?  Is this just a sideline or another tool in his or her toolkit or is your mediator committed to the profession?  Has your mediator published articles about mediation? Has your mediator spoken at conferences about mediation or mediation related topics? What else does your mediator do to establish a commitment to excellence in the profession.